The Check List Man

It is very common for women, at least for myself, to list certain attributes I am looking for in a man. For me, I can say I am looking for a man who will challenge me - challenge me spiritually in my faith and as a person, especially to make me want to become a better woman; for a man with personality - that may be tough because I have a lot of personality myself....but, I've met some Christian men who are really dull (and I'll leave it at that); lastly, I am looking for a man to not be afraid to love me back, because 1) I've got a lot of love to give 2) that's actually one of my biggest fears in life - to love someone and not have them say "I love you" back. I want him to be loyal to me as much as I'll be loyal to him. I think God's definitely working with me on this last part though and I know He's coming through for me....and right now, that's all that really matters.

Anyways, sorry, I got sidetracked. I feel like women, possibly even a majority of Christian women, are "planning" on what their future husbands will be like: "tall, dark and handsome, athletic, Christian, sweet, nice, genuine, honest, trustworthy, loyal, from a good family, has a good job...." That's great that the women who do this set their standards high! I'm ALL for high standards. But, on the other hand, are we being too selective? Are we being too picky? By making these checklists of attributes for our boyfriends, are we LIMITING ourselves from seeing the man God wants for us?

With these checklists it's really easy to just toss out a guy for not having any or all of these certain qualities we imagine for ourselves. As a Father, don't you think God knows the man who is most suitable to be with you for the rest of your life?

My senior year in high school, our whole graduating class of a whopping 61 students went on a retreat for a few days. We just hung out played games, signed yearbooks and just got to soak up being together for the last time ever. Amongst all of our fun activities, our teachers got to same of their last words of encouragement to our class. One of the most memorable stories was how my teacher was on his first date with his future (now) wife. He said, before they discussed ANYTHING, he wasn't going to make a move on her - hold her hand, kiss her, nothing. He wanted to show respect to her and put her mind at ease on their first date so that they can really get to know each other. I REALLY respect that, especially in today's society, how easy it is to get to home plate on the first date! It amazes me how far we've come sometimes....

Anyways, sorry again! I got sidetracked (both times, I felt it was necessary stories to leave in). The other story I will vividly remember (I'm PRETTY sure it was from this retreat, not 100% sure though, someone *cough cough Katie* can correct me if I'm wrong), is this metaphor of running after Jesus. First Corinthians 9:24 (and Philippians 3:14) talks about running in such a way to get the prize. And, the speaker said, if I'm running as fast as I can to Christ, passing by all my "competitors," and look to see who ends up keeping the same pace, that's the right man for me.  (If you act this motion with your hands, they eventually connect, forming a triangle - like the Trinity!)

This analogy doesn't include what the man looks like, his background, how long he's been a Christian or what he does for a living. It's focused on how hard he's striving after God, which is THE MOST attractive quality in a man. After that, all the things on your checklist would probably be checked off :)

I am glad I'm able to pass along this analogy to encourage you and encourage others as well....so please share! if you feel led...especially because I've ix-nayed (sp?) all forms of major social media interaction, it's hard to let others know this nugget of wisdom is out there. Thanks!