Wives "submit" to your husbands...

The passages in Scripture that deal with this phrase have caught my attention recently, not only because of my recent resolution but also through various Bible studies in church and talks with friends.

So far, I have found that the word "submit" does not bode well with the majority of today's female population. I feel this is because most women today are built, raised and taught to be strong, independent, confident women. I see no shame in that, I commend it actually. However, only to the extent that being powerful and self-preserved can often deter women from being submissive wives, which causes today's strong-willed women to be offended. I think it's logical. Some may say that the Scriptures in the Bible are obsolete and the language is old and outdated. Yes, this may be true, but that does not mean the Bible should be tossed out completely. In fact, the Bible in its entirety can be applied to every day life, even the Old Testament, when looking at the whole picture.

But that's beside the point. My point is that instead of focusing on the word "submit," which most women have a problem with, what about replacing the word with "sacrifice?" Wives sacrifice to/for your husbands. We see wives and moms do this every day! Moms sacrificing their time, energy and sleep to maintain their household and their kids. Wives going out of their way to make dinner for their husbands when they come home from work or cleaning the house on the weekends. Wives sacrificing their desires to be a teacher or nurse or whatever to stay at home and focus on their family and be a stay at home mom. Wives sacrificing their extra savings to put their kids through school or buy their kids new clothes so they don't feel out of place at school. Get the picture? Wives ALREADY submit, but they just don't like their sacrifices being called submission.

I think that when most people (male and female) think of the word submit, they automatically think of dictate or command, like "Kristen, make me a sandwich" or "Kristen bring me a drink." But, being submissive in a relationship is not like that. Yes, it can be demanding and it can be work but it's not like a slave owner ruling over a slave.

A good husband would love his wife so much that he wouldn't want her to be making all these sacrifices, but both understand that's what needs to be done to maintain the household (Proverbs 31:15-27). So he realizes a good time to step in and chip in with the household chores or look after the kids or pay for a day at the spa.

A good wife will stand by a decision the husband makes no matter how big or how small (whether it is to eat that extra candy bar at dinner or to take out that extra loan on the house) because her "husband is respected at the city gate" (or amongst peers and the community) - Proverbs 31:23.

A good husband would love his wife so much that he would support his wife's independence and allow her to be the confident, strong-willed, powerful woman she is "lack[ing] nothing in value" (Proverbs 31:11).

Finally, a woman who is to be a good wife, will make sacrifices, like dropping her own desires and wants, to benefit and bring glory not only to her family but also to her Lord. She will stand by her husband for richer and poorer, sickness and in health, til death parts her, even if it means making some sacrifices along the way.

See, being in a relationship is not about being beckoned upon or having to wait on the male figurehead. It is about making sacrifices, compromising when necessary or needed and working hard at making the relationship work. Both spirits, whether strong-willed or timid, must be considered equally important in the relationship, even if the male is the head of the household.